I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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