is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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