when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
