Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
