I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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