I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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