Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
