no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize