how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
