It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
