So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
