I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
