Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
