I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
