you guys were way drunker than both of me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
