we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
