how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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