I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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