i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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