new low.... made out with someone while peeing
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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