Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
