In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
