and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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