the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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