He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
