i barfeds in our rink
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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