So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
