I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
