im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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