Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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