im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
