I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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