so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
