I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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