Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
