She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
