I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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