i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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