You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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