if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
