I need help removing her.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
