i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was born a porn star she said
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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