I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
