so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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