Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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