I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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