She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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