everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I still have a little drunk in my system
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
