We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
