sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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