I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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