My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We have started to decorate penises.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
