so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
