btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
