i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
