I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
