you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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