The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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