Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
