My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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