Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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