is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
