she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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